Monday, 30 October 2017

How to Live to 100: Researchers Find New Genetic Clues

If you live to be 100, you’re in a special group, one that longevity scientists are eagerly studying for clues to battling aging. But are these centenarians long-lived because they don’t get the diseases that fell the rest of us—heart problems, diabetes, dementia, arthritis and more—or because they are protected somehow against the effects of aging? Based on the data so far, most experts have concluded that centenarians get to where they are because they have some anti-aging secret that shields them against the effects of aging. That’s because studies found that centenarians had just as many genes that contribute to disease as those with more average life spans.
But in a paper published in PLOS Genetics, researchers led by Stuart Kim, professor of developmental biology and genetics at Stanford University, questions that dogma. He found that on the contrary, centenarians may have fewer of the genes that contribute to major chronic diseases. That doesn’t mean that people who live to their 100s also don’t possess some protective anti-aging genes as well, but Kim’s study shows that they don’t experience as much disease as people who are shorter-lived.Kim’s team came to that conclusion after conducting a novel type of genetic analysis. Most attempts to look for genes related to aging compare the genomes of centenarians and people with average life spans and pick out the regions where the maps differ. Those are potential targets for aging, but, as Kim notes, they could also be red herrings. “Because you search through hundreds of thousands, and now millions of variants, there is a lot of noise. So it makes it difficult to see the signal amidst all the noise.”
To purify the signal, Kim layered another piece of information on this comparison. He made the assumption that disease genes can reduce the chances of someone reaching their 100s, and focused just on known disease-causing genes in his analysis. “With that, we can make better guesses about what is really bad for becoming a centenarian,” he says.
The filtered analysis pumped out five major regions of interest for longevity. Four are familiar; they involve the gene connected to Alzheimer’s, an area involved with heart disease, the genes responsible for the A-B-O blood type and the immune system’s HLA region that needs to be matched for organ transplants to avoid rejection. These four have known connections to longevity. The Alzheimer’s gene, ApoE, for example, is linked to shorter life span, while the heart disease variants are involved in directing a cell’s life span and the O blood type is known to be connected to better health outcomes and survival.
The fifth region was one that had never been linked to longevity before, and Kim admits that not much is known about how it might contribute to longer life, except that mutations in the gene region can contribute to neurological diseases such as ALS and that in fruit flies, other mutations help the insects to live longer.
“It seems intuitively obvious, that avoiding disease is part of the strategy of becoming a centenarian,” says Kim. “But there is a really, really strong dogma in the field that there was no depletion of disease genes in centenarians, and that all of their survival benefit was coming from protection from anti-aging genes. I think they were wrong.”
Those previous studies that pointed to this anti-aging effect over the effect of fewer disease-causing genes were generally smaller, and might not have isolated the signal from the noise.
Kim’s team shows that the way centenarians reach their second century may involve more than just being blessed with anti-aging genes. “We found that, at least in part, they live longer because they don’t get sick,” he says. He also readily admits that they may also benefit from some anti-aging factor that researchers haven’t uncovered—yet.

Friday, 27 October 2017

7 Creepy Things You Should Never Do When You Meet a Woman

This stuff should be obvious, but judging by this reddit thread, it's not
When you're meeting a woman for the first time, it shouldn't be hard to strike up a simple conversation that doesn't weird her out. Unfortunately, some guys seem to be missing the mark.
That's the only possible conclusion we can draw from a recent reddit thread that asked: "Women, what are common ways unfamiliar men make you uncomfortable or creeped out?" The questioned garnered thousands of responses with tales of intolerable behavior from men, and we've collected some of them here so you can make sure you never, ever follow in their footsteps.
Just stop catcalling. It never, ever works.
From socampo32214: "A stranger cat calling me from his truck the other day when I was driving home. He would speed up or slow down to keep pace with me. Yelling at me through his window and honking his horn. I was finally able to slam on my brakes and he stopped, but how annoying. I'm in Texas and I wouldn't dream of doing anything like that to someone because we like our self defense weapons here."
Don't make jokes about a woman’s ethnicity.
From Anomalous_Amygdalae: "Make creepy comments/assumptions because of my ethnicity. When I tell some men about my nationality they go: Ooooooh Latina... And make weird comments involving the word 'Caliente'... Asking me if I like to dance reggueaton (while being in a work environment), as if by being reminded of my heritage, I'll suddenly snap and go Shakira on their dick."
Never touch a woman unless you’re explicitly invited to.
From Corrievrechan: “Overly familiar touching. For instance, I was doing First Aid training in a pretty small class. Just me, one male and one female teacher, and two guys who were also in training. One of the guys would do stuff like put his arm around my waist or shoulder while one of the teachers was talking. I was 15, he was 17 or 18, and it made me extremely uncomfortable. I didn't know him at all, and we had barely spoken to each other. I never said anything about it, just waited for the class to end so I would never have to see him again. These days I would yell at a guy who tried that.”
Don't be a social media stalker.
From timmehjimmeh7: "I'm not sure how common this is, but when I took my car in to my dealership for my service, I gave my keys to the mechanic and went inside to wait without saying anything to him. Late that day, I got a friend request on social media. He had apparently taken my professional car file to figure out who I was and find me. This file also has my address and phone, so I was pretty worried and creeped out."
Don't hug when a handshake is more appropriate.
From griffalow: "I work in the television industry and often find myself working with all male crews when filming on location. Most of the men greet each other by hand-shaking, but when it comes to greeting me, nine times out of ten they go in for a hug or kiss on the cheek. It makes me feel as though they're seeing me differently to other members of the crew and that's the part that makes me feel uncomfortable. I obviously want to be viewed as equal, and even though it's a small thing it makes me realize that I'm being seen as different because of my gender. Anyone else experienced this too?"
Don't stare at women's chest. It's rude and creepy—and they know you're doing it.
From Tiredofstandingstill: "When they talk to you and try to look you in the eye but keep glancing at your boobs. I'm not blind and I never have my cleavage out, probably due to people just staring, so now I wear t-shirts with a jumper or coat on and you still catch them trying to look. Pisses me off, I'm covered up and they still perv."
If she's wearing headphones, she doesn't want to talk to you about anything—and certainly not about marriage.
From sociablebot: "One of the worst transit experiences I've had was with someone like this. I was wearing headphones, had my backpack in my seat next to me, and was playing Animal Crossing on my [Nintendo] 3DS. When he asked to sit next to me, I moved my bag because that's what you do on a bus that always gets super crowded even though there were other available seats at the time.
He waited until the bus went express and then starts talking to me. I kept one earbud in and kept playing my game and just giving the same non-answer to everything he asked me. He went from just telling me things about his life to asking about my opinion on arranged marriages and how he should talk to my dad to arrange a marriage with me. Right before he got off, he asked for my Facebook. I told him I didn't believe in social media. I was planning my exit strategy and was going to get off before my stop and go into a building I knew I could get help at. Thankfully he got off a stop before that."

Sex And Sleep Will Make You Happier Than Money Ever Could

A new study has found that making more money has very little effect on overall happiness

Ever think that you'd be so much happier if you were the guy driving down the street in a car that costs as much as someone's house? Turns out, if you're getting quality Zs and have a happy sex life, you're the one winning, man. A new study has found the top indicators of happiness, and money doesn't even hit the top five.
The study conducted by researchers from Oxford Economics and the National Centre for Social Research in Great Britain, asked 8,250 people of varying backgrounds to fill out a 60-question survey to determine what it means to "live well." The questions covered everything — from the state of an individual's sleep quality, finances, and job security to their relationships with friends, family and their community. And the results? They weren't what you'd expect.
The result was the creation of the Sainsbury’s Living Well Index, which generated a list of the top factors that separated the happiest 20 percent from everyone else. In order of biggest influence, sleep quality, sex life, job security, health of close relatives and chatting to neighbors were the top five factors that determined who was actually living well.
Some of these results should come as little surprise, since we already know how a bad sleep schedule affects your health, but the fact that money doesn't rank at the top of the list might. In fact, according to Metro, researchers found that those who had good sleep and a sex life they were satisfied with (no, that doesn't mean loads of sex; although tantra might help) had higher "living well" scores than those people with a high income.
The study found that income had very little impact on a person's perception of well-being. In fact, a 50 percent increase in disposable income only led to a miniscule increase in a person's "living well" score.
That's not to say we should all just quit our jobs to have sex and sleep all day. Being unemployed, suffering from problems with physical and mental health, and lacking a strong support network were the top three factors that separated those who were struggling from feeling like they were living well. So while income may not be important, job security certainly is.
So what does that mean for you? Granted, this research was done on people living in Great Britain, but the country bears many similarities to ours. Bottom line, if you want to be happier, it's time to buddy up with that bed in more ways than one and give those relationships in your life some much-needed attention.
If sleep is your problem, check out these 5 strategies to get some quality z's. If it's your sex life, here are the most common sex problems couples run into— and how to solve them. And if it's your job, don't worry: You can still land the career of your dreams.

Monday, 23 October 2017

5 Carbohydrate Myths That Might Be Standing In the Way Of Your Weight Loss

Carbs are not the enemy
Can you have your carbs and eat them too if you’re trying to lose weight? With all the low-carb diets to choose from, it might seem impossible. But experts say that’s just one of many misconceptions about carbohydrates.
In fact, Stefanie Mendez, R.D., a practicing dietician at The NY Nutrition Group, says low-carb diets are just another dietary fad.
“In the past, fats were out, and now they’re back in with a vengeance. We go back and forth in media and science," says Mendez. "The suggestion is a balance of nutrients is what’s most important."
In other words, she says, we need protein, fats, and carbs in our diet—and losing weight is just about finding the right balance for you. So let’s debunk a few of the most common myths about carbs.
Myth #1: Carbs Make You Gain Weight
Nutritionists agree—this one’s a biggie. “When you cut back on carbs, you could lose weight because you’ve cut out a large number of calories from your diet,” adds Vandana Sheth, R.D., a Los Angeles-based dietitian and spokesperson for the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics. 
While it is true that you’ll notice a couple of pounds drop right off when you go low-carb, that’s really just water weight. In the longer-term, low-carb diets may not be the answer to real weight loss. “Low-carb and no-carb diets have not been shown to be more effective at weight loss than a balanced diet,” says Mendez.
The real problem with carbs is that we often don’t know what a portion should look like, so we eat way too much. Most of us should aim for 295 to 425 grams of carbs per day—with a slice of bread, for example, serving somewhere in the ballpark of 15 to 28 grams. “One typical meal can easily provide half of your daily carb allowance. A large blended coffee drink, for example, could add up to 94 grams of carbs,” says Sheth. Instead, spread carbs throughout the day to have a steady source of energy.
Another common pitfall is not balancing carbs with other foods that help you stay satisfied. “We know that carbs have an immediate effect on our blood sugar,” says Sheth, but adding other foods into the mix keeps blood sugar stable. So look at what’s missing from your plate. It should be about half non-starchy vegetables (like cauliflower, broccoli, carrots, peppers, mushrooms, spinach); one-quarter protein (meat, fish, poultry, soy); and one-quarter starchy carbs. “If you’re not pairing carbs with fat or protein, you won’t feel full,” says Mendez.
Myth #2: Bread and Pasta Are the Devil
Bread and pasta are not the enemy. Again, it’s the portions and the type of grains you pick that destroy your weight-loss goals. One cup of cooked rice or pasta, for example, has about 45 grams of carbs. “Before you know it, a typical restaurant serving of pasta and garlic bread can get you in the ballpark of 75 or more grams of carbs,” says Sheth.
Mendez agrees. “A lot of people have a hard time pushing it aside and saying it’s too much,” she says. A few tips:
    If you’re eating out, ask your waiter to immediately wrap up half of your plate to-go when you order—that way it’s out of sight, out of mind.
    If pasta or rice is your main dish, skip the bread basket and bulk up your meal with a side of filling salad or vegetables.
    Whenever possible, try and pick a whole-grain option, which has more fiber so you feel fuller for longer.
    At the store, choose bread with at least three grams (and ideally five) of fiber per slice.
Myth #3: All Carbs Are Created Equal
Nutritionists have one thought on this myth: Nope. “Depending upon the fiber content, carbs break down to sugar at a slower or faster pace,” says Sheth.
Get the right kind of carbs by cutting out as many processed and baked goods, sugary drinks, sweets, and added sugars (found in tons of packaged foods) as possible from your diet, since they’re all packed with empty calories. Instead, Mendez suggests choosing whole grains (whole-wheat bread, brown rice, ancient grains like quinoa and bulgur), starchy vegetables (potatoes, sweet potatoes, squash, corn, and lentils), and fresh fruit. These have more fiber, which keeps your blood sugar from spiking and dropping—a side effect that will have you reaching for your next bite in no time flat.
Myth #4: Carbs Make You Gassy and Bloated
While it’s absolutely true that some carbs can cause indigestion and gas for some people, it’s simply not the case for many of us. If you have frequent bloating and gas, you could have a different food intolerance (like to dairy or soy), a medical condition like IBS, or you might be downing loads of another gas-causing food (in addition to beans, artificial sweeteners and fibers in sugar-free gum and energy bars are common culprits).
A true allergy to gluten (i.e., celiac disease) causes rashes, itching, vomiting, chronic (often bloody) diarrhea; an intolerance or sensitivity to any food can cause bloating, gas, and diarrhea. If you do think you’re intolerant to wheat—i.e., every time you have pasta or bread you feel sick or bloated—Mendez says you could try to eliminate it from your diet for four to six weeks. “See how you feel, then reintroduce it and see if you feel different,” she says.
Of course, nailing down exactly what’s causing symptoms on your own can be tough. “I wouldn’t write off wheat off right away. See a doctor and rule out other medical conditions that could be contributing to symptoms, then see a dietitian, who can help you keep a food and symptom diary to target foods you should eliminate,” says Mendez.
Myth #5: Low-Carb Diets Are Healthier for You
Just because your diet is low in carbs does not mean it’s healthy. Replacing all fat with bagels and pasta isn’t good for you—and cutting out carbs by eating nothing but bun-less double cheeseburgers isn’t healthy, either. Carbs are your body’s preferred source of energy; not having enough can make you feel sluggish and lead to brain fog, signs of low blood sugar, explains Mendez. Healthy carb-rich foods provide essential nutrients and vitamins like fiber, B vitamins, iron, and folate.
Ultimately, it comes down to finding the right balance of mostly whole and fresh foods. “The research is inconsistent, but the general consensus from the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics is that a normal-carb diet is appropriate for most people,” says Mendez. That means getting about 45 to 65 percent of your daily calories from carbs.
If you are planning to switch up your diet, instead of nixing carbs from the get-go you might have more success—and an ultimately more balanced diet—if you start by cutting unhealthy processed carbs and sugars and making lifestyle changes. “Tune into your body’s hunger and satiety cues, and don’t snack when you’re just tired or bored,” says Mendez. After a few weeks, check in with how you feel and how your weight loss is going. You might be surprised at how much weight drops off just by making a few small tweaks.

Sunday, 22 October 2017

7 Ways to Make Sex Even Better

Strengthen your relationship with these bedroom bonding tips

It's no myth that sex, whether kinky or romantic, is a powerful way to increase intimacy with your partner.
Even science says so. During sex, your brain floods your body with hormones and neurochemicals, especially oxytocin, which is best known as the "love hormone"—and with good reason. Oxytocin decreases feelings of stress and dramatically increases feelings of trust, security, bonding, and love, says California-based couples therapist Mary Kay Cocharo, L.M.F.T.
Skin to skin touching triggers the release of these hormones, making stripping down with your partner one of the quickest and easiest ways to deepen your relationship. Want to take things a step further? Here are seven simple—and sexy—things that will make your next romp more intimate.
Be vocal.
Keeping quiet during sex means you’re missing out on an opportunity to build your bond with your partner. Tell them what feels good and what doesn't—and vocalize the pleasure you're experiencing, Cocharo says. “Whether it's through words or moans and groans, you want to show that you're in the present moment with each other.”
Breathe deeply.
Breathing deeply communicates pleasure and doing so in tandem with your partner can help heighten arousal, Cocharo explains. “In tantric sex, we teach people to breathe together to create more connection and more eroticism.”
Unplug.
Avoid distractions at all costs. Make sure the television is off and your phone is silent—your texts and voicemails can wait. During sex, you and your partner should be solely focused on each other, says Cocharo. If you're not, you're missing out on an opportunity to bond, or even worse, you risk offending your partner.
Remove pets from the bedroom.
A lot of people sleep with their pets in their bed, but it can be a major buzzkill to have your dog or cat staring at you while you have sex. Not to mention, really awkward.
“If you're trying to look into your partner's eyes and you glance over, and your dog's looking into your eyes, it kind of breaks the mood,” Cocharo points out.
Snuggle with your pets later.
Make your bedroom a work-free zone.
You sleep in your bedroom, and you have sex in your bedroom. It's not, however, a place to do work, pay bills, or talk on the phone, says Cocharo. She suggests removing computers and charging your cellphone overnight somewhere else. They will only distract you from paying attention to your partner.
Open your eyes.
Try focusing on making eye contact next time you're in bed. “There is neuroscience that shows that when two people gaze into each other's eyes, at a close distance—say 18 or 20 inches—that the reactive part of the brain, the limbic brain, calms and allows people to experience a deeper connection,” Cocharo explains.
Just be conscious about breaking that stare if it starts to feel awkward. You don't want to kill the vibe by bordering on creepy.
Plan a romantic evening.
Let's put it like this: Not every meal needs to be a five-course dinner. A quick burger can really hit the spot sometimes, but too much fast food is never a good thing, either.
During sex, not every romp needs to be quick and intense, sometimes you need to slow down and savor the intimate moments, too. That takes time and requires some planning on your part, Cocharo says. So make sure you carve out time for foreplay and set the mood—she'll notice the effort.

Wednesday, 18 October 2017

Here's the Major Reason Why Dating Apps Aren't Working for You

A new study says that apps that uses sophisticated algorithms to determine compatibility are less reliable than you think
If you've ever gone a date with someone you met online and they rejected you by saying, "it's not you, it's me," we have good news: they weren't lying, and it might not have been your fault. In fact, the authors of an August study have determined that dating app algorithms basically can't predict compatibility at all.
The authors of the Psychological Science study tested their own questionnaire-based attraction algorithm and discovered that their well-educated guesses couldn’t predict anything about what would happen after two strangers actually met for the first time.
To find out whether algorithms could predict mutual attraction, the researchers used 100 self-reported traits and partner preferences (for instance, "I enjoy binge-watching Game of Thrones") to predict a degree of variance in the choices of two strangers who then met in real life for four-minute speed dates. While the researchers didn’t specify whether the algorithm was based on a particular dating app, it sounds pretty similar to the one used by OKCupid, which uses a complex set of data to determine your compatibility with another user. (Here are the biggest mistakes you're making on Tinder, by the way.)
Using the statistical model, the researchers were able to predict fairly well the degree to which someone desired another person, and they were also able to somewhat accurately predict the degree to which someone else liked them. However, after researchers talked to both parties after the date ended, their responses were completely unpredictable, especially when it came to determining whether they were interested in pursuing a relationship with each other.
Dating apps and websites often boast about the efficacy of these secret sauce algorithms. But when you actually compare an algorithm’s predictions and speed daters' actual assessments of each other, it's clear that all the swiping in the world isn't all that effective. So basically, if you really want to use dating apps, don’t put too much stock in personalized questionnaires that promise to find your Mrs. or Mr. Right.

Friday, 13 October 2017

Lose Your Belly Fat

Your step-by-step plan for making your gut disappear
There's a secret every trainer in Hollywood knows, and it's one you should know, too: "The fastest way to look like you've packed on 20 pounds of muscle is to lose 10 pounds of fat," says Alan Aragon, M. S., the Men's Health Weight-Loss Coach and the coauthor of The Lean Muscle Diet. That's because the closer you come to removing the lard that covers your six-pack, the more defined every muscle becomes, making you look buff all over.
Which is why I've spent a lot of time trying to lose my last 10 pounds of flab. Unfortunately, like many men, I've found that goal to be frustratingly elusive. That is, until I enlisted the help of Aragon, whose nutrition and training methods have shaped the bodies of NBA athletes, Olympians, and competitive bodybuilders.
Using Aragon's advice, I slashed my body fat in half—down to a lifetime low of 6.8 percent—and sculpted not only the muscles of my midsection, but the ones everywhere else, too. Now it's your turn. Use Aragon's simple 5-step diet plan to finally finish off your gut for good. (And for Aragon's complete cutting-edge guide to losing fat, check out the The Lean Muscle Diet, available everywhere books are sold.)
CALCULATE YOUR CALORIES
When it comes to calories, Aragon has a simple rule: Eat for your target body weight. Let's say you weigh 220 pounds but would like to tip the scales at 180. You'll adopt the calorie intake of a 180-pound man
The formula: If you perform 1 hour or less of exercise a week, multiply your target body weight by 10. That's how many calories you should consume daily. However, if you work out more than that, add 1 to the multiplier for every additional hour you train. So if your target body weight is 180 pounds and you exercise for 3 hours a week, you'd multiply 180 by 12—giving you a target of 2,160 calories a day. You can divide those calories into however many meals you want—three, four, five, or six—as long as you don't eat beyond your daily limit.
EAT BY THE NUMBERS
Sure, you could just focus on calories. But by eating the right amounts of the right nutrients, you'll speed your results without feeling like you're on a diet.
Protein
You probably don't need to be sold on the virtues of protein, since it's the raw material for muscle growth. But it also helps extinguish your appetite and aids in fat loss.
The formula: Eat 1 gram for every pound of your target body weight. If you want to weigh 180 pounds, you'll eat 180 grams of protein. One gram of protein is about 4 calories. So to calculate the calories you'll be eating from protein, multiply the number of grams by 4. In this case, that's 720 calories.
Fat
For years, this nutrient was considered a dietary demon. However, recent studies clearly show that it's not fat that inflates your belly, but too many calories, period. And, it turns out, fat may actually keep you from overeating because it makes you feel full. The end result: You stop eating sooner and stay satisfied longer.
The formula: Eat half a gram for every pound of your target body weight. If your goal is to weigh 180 pounds, that'd be 90 grams. And since 1 gram of fat has about 9 calories, that's 810 calories from fat. This will be about 40 percent of your total calories.
Carbohydrates
Carb-containing foods not only taste good, but can also be rich in vitamins and minerals. So you don't need to eliminate them altogether; you just need to make sure you don't eat them in excess. And consuming the right amounts of protein and fat will make that goal far easier, since both keep hunger at bay. That's one key reason Aragon places a greater priority on protein and fat and leaves the remainder of your calories for carbs.
The formula: Add your calories from protein and fat, and subtract that total from your allotted daily calories. Using the 180-pound example, that leaves you with 630 calories. This is the amount of calories you can eat from carbs. As protein does, carbs provide about 4 calories per gram—so divide your carb calories by four to determine how many grams of carbs you can eat. In this case, it's about 158 grams.
CREATE YOUR MENU
Build your diet around whole foods—those you'd find in nature. You should choose mainly meat, eggs, dairy, fruits, vegetables, nuts, and legumes, plus grain products that are made with 100 percent whole-wheat flour. Note that typical junk foods—candy, baked goods, and sugary drinks—don't make the list.
Use the food options below as a guide for designing your diet. Mix and match the foods in any way you like while following the calorie, protein, fat, and carb guidelines for your target body weight. The nutrition numbers listed don't provide exact amounts of calories and other nutrients, but these ballpark averages allow you to eyeball your intake.
DIAL IN YOUR DIET
Follow these rules to make your eating plan even more effective.
1. Consume at least 2 servings of vegetables a day. Vegetables are low in calories and high in belly-filling fiber.
2. Eat at least 2 servings of fruit a day. Fruit provides your muscles with plenty of carbs for energy, but has less impact on your blood sugar than grains and other high-starch foods do. This is important because it can help you avoid the cravings and binges that occur when your blood sugar rises quickly and then crashes. Ideally, the majority of your carbs will come from fruits and vegetables. So limit yourself to just two daily servings of grains, beans, and high-starch vegetables, and consume the rest of your carbs from produce.
3. On the days you work out, eat 1 hour before you exercise and again within 60 minutes after your last rep. For both meals, aim for 0.25 gram per pound of your target body weight in protein and carbs. So if your goal is to be 180 pounds, you'd eat 45 grams of each nutrient. This provides your muscles with a healthy dose of nutrients for fueling your workout and for upgrading your muscles after you're done. Keep in mind that your total protein and carb intake for the day doesn't change; you're just eating strategically for better results. Options are:
A preformulated shake, that has a mix of protein and carbs. Add fruit if it requires more carbs.
A shake that's almost entirely protein—such as Optimum Nutrition Whey—along with 1/2 cup of oatmeal and a piece of fruit.
A tuna-salad or turkey sandwich.
FORGET ABOUT THE DETAILS
One meal a week, go ahead and splurge. "There's always room for junk food, as long as it's a minority of your intake," says Aragon.

Thursday, 12 October 2017

What Women Really Think About Threesomes, Dirty Talk, and Anal

Plus: How to make some of your fantasies come true!
We all have personal preferences in the bedroom, some very common and others illegal in Texas. Still, we all deserve for some of our desires to become reality.
How do you make it happen?
The best way: Talk to your girlfriend or wife well before you attempt the act.
Here’s what most women think about 10 of your top sexual fantasies.
1. YOU WANT A THREESOME
She thinks: “Of course you do. Keep dreaming.”
Despite what you saw in Saturday Night Beaver, most girls don’t want to enter this territory. Granted, we can appreciate the female form.
And we’re not horrified at the thought of being in the same room with another naked woman. But what if we asked you to be with another guy? Yeah, that’s what I thought.
The thing is, we’d always wonder whose company you were enjoying more. We might not admit it, but it’d cause some insecurity on our part. Get this out of your system before you enter a committed relationship, okay?
2. YOU WANT HER TO DRESS UP
She thinks: “Ooo, in what?”
Ask me to put on a squirrel costume and I might crush your nuts. Hey, some people are into that stuff!
If the costume has to be rented from hotmascots.com, it’s probably a no-go. It takes courage to dress up (some of us are not thrilled with our bodies) but we want to feel sexy for you.
As long as we feel good in it, or you make us feel good in it, there won’t be a problem here.
3. YOU WANT HER TO GO DOWN ON YOU
She thinks: “What else is new?”
Some girls really enjoy giving oral. If your girlfriend doesn’t, it may be that she’s not comfortable or confident with her technique.
Make her comfortable—and not by grabbing her head. Reassure her, tell her she does it the best, and guide her if you want something different.
Also, I believe it was Jesus who said give and ye shall receive. So give, often and well. Ye shall receive.
4. YOU WANT ANAL SEX
She thinks: “Ouch!” (and clenches her butt cheeks)
Listen fellahs, this is a gift. If you want it, you have to earn it. This will likely be more “thrilling” for you than her.
Hey, some girls are good to go, and enjoy it. Others, well, want some time to ease into that stage of a relationship. You know, the stage when she may drop a turd on your bed and you’ll love her anyway. Yeah, that stage.
Anal isn’t for the feint of heart, especially if you've had Mexican for dinner. Before you go there, watch The Truth about Anal Sex.
5. YOU WANT TO FINISH IN A STRANGE PLACE
She thinks: “Um, what? Why?”
Hey, it’s cool if you’re into that sort of thing.
The rule here is simple: Ask permission before you do it.
6. YOU WANT TO WATCH HER MASTURBATE
She thinks: “Awkward!”
Sorry, guys, but this is something we’re used to doing on our own, and in our own way. Though we understand why you’d enjoy watching, it can be super-awkward for us.
Your best bet: While you’re pleasing her, grab her hand and encourage her to show you what she likes. And definitely tell her how amazing she looks doing it.
7. YOU WANT TO TALK DIRTY
She thinks: “You go first.”
Use common sense here, guys. Ease in, and take it from there. Tell her how gorgeous and sexy she is. She’ll follow your lead and probably get into it.
8. YOU WANT TO DO IT IN A NEW, POSSIBLY DANGEROUS SPOT
She thinks: “Adventurous!”
But let it happen spontaneously. That is the fun of it. If you plan for it, the thrill is gone. In fact, she may get cold feet if she has too long to think about it. Keep her on her toes!
And try not to get arrested. Jail-cell sex isn’t nearly as hot.
9. YOU WANT TO WATCH PORN TOGETHER
She thinks: “Sure!”
She may not want to admit it, but some girls are just as turned on by porn as you are. Not the college-girl show-me-your-titties kind, but the grownup kind.
We understand that you’re going to watch it anyway, and it’d be more fun to watch with you and reap the benefits!
10. YOU WANT TO MAKE PORN TOGETHER
She thinks: “Can I trust you?”
It’s not posing that puts us off. It’s the prospect of showing up on YouPorn—or, frankly, your buddy’s iPhone.
Bottom line: This takes loads of trust. No matter how in love we are at the time, we know that not all love lasts forever. But pictures and videos sure do!

Wednesday, 4 October 2017

9 Things Happy Couples Always Do Before Bed

"I honestly believe that if you go too long without sex, it can severely damage the connection in a relationship."
Routines get a bad rep when it comes to romance. (Cue images of eating dinner in front of the TV and passing out before you can even think about getting frisky.) But that's not necessarily the case. Plenty of happy couples will tell you that routine isn't the enemy—in fact, establishing a nightly habit can help strengthen your bond and make you even happier. As counterintuitive as it may sound, the secret to staying out of a relationship rut might actually be to establish a daily routine.
To dig a little deeper, we asked real women about the evening habits that help keep their relationships going strong. Their tried-and-true nightly activities are just a few examples of one or two things you can do to strengthen your own relationship. The benefits may surprise you.
1. Treat each other.
“Almost every night, we have ice cream or frozen yogurt treats. It's a little thing to see who volunteers to go downstairs and to the back of our big old house to the freezer to get them each night. Partway through whatever we’re watching that evening, one of us will ask, ‘Did you say something about popsicles?’ and the other will make the trek downstairs to the freezer where we keep a stock of frozen treats, and grab a surprise for the other. We settle in on the couch with our popsicles and our pups and just enjoy the downtime together. After 20 years of marriage, it's as much about the everyday tiny things as it is the grand gestures—if not more so!" —Dana, M., married 20 years
2. Take a stroll.
"We normally spend all our evenings together. We both work at home and a 45-minute walk through the neighborhood is a good end to the work day and start to the evening." —Linda M., married 16 years
3. Get it on.
“If we've gone more than a week without having sex, we both make a point to make time for that. I honestly believe that if you go too long without sex (like more than two to three weeks unless you physically can’t, due to illness or being apart) it can severely damage the connection in a relationship. Even when I couldn't have vaginal intercourse after giving birth, I think we probably waited only two to three weeks and then, let's just say, we got creative with non-vaginal sex...” —Kaitlin S., married six years
4. Spend quality time in the kitchen.
“Every night we cook dinner together—or at least keep one another company while the other cooks. When one of us gets home, the other always fixes the other a drink (usually not alcoholic, could just be sparkling water with lemon!) and for some reason that always feels like a nice way to start the evening.” —Ashley W., married two years
5. Turn TV time into together time.
“Our weekday evening habits are to watch the evening news with a plate of olives and other noshes then have dinner. Afterward, we watch TV. I love our binges! It still feels like a real treat to sit and watch and snuggle.” —Lisa D., married six years
6. Make time together a “chore.”
“When schedules get busy and we are coming home and eating at different times, it can be easy to fall into a pattern of launching into tasks. These bills need to get paid, this mail needs to get sorted, these dishes need to be washed. We try to make sure that some together time is also on the agenda.” —Naomi N., married six months
7. Make pillow talk more meaningful.
“At bedtime, we each share what our three best memories are from the day and one thing that we are grateful for. We also sleep holding hands.” —Echo G., married 35 years
8. Tuck each other in.
“We usually go to bed at the same time, but on the nights we don't, the person staying up always tucks the other in. It sounds really silly, but it's something sweet and simple we do for each other. It helps us connect—especially when we’re both swamped with work. —Kelli B., married one year
9. Schedule a regular night out.
“I never really understood the concept of having regular "date nights" after marriage, but now I totally get it! Going out really encourages conversation and forces you to relax and just spend time together in a way you don't when you're sitting around at home. I love having dinner at home with my husband, but there's a huge difference between eating and then quickly getting up to do the dishes and clean up as compared to just enjoying a nice meal at a restaurant. I think doing fun things together is a great way to keep your marriage enjoyable and healthy.” —Zara H., married one year