Thursday, 14 December 2017

7 Ridiculously Simple Things You Can Do to Make Your Partner Happy

These actions may seem small, but she appreciates them the most

Whether you just started dating or she doesn’t flinch when you fart anymore, chances are the moments that make you appreciate your relationship aren’t grand romantic gestures.
It’s the little moments in a relationship that mean the most, says Jennifer Freed, Ph.D., a relationship and family therapist.
For ideas, we turned to seven women who are happy in their long-term relationships. Here’s the number one thing their partners do to make them swoon. 
LEAVE HER NOTES
“My husband and I have been married for more than five years and dated for six years before that. You would think that our relationship would get boring by now, but he reminds me he loves me by writing love notes and putting them in my lunch bag each day. I usually make my lunch before going to bed and somehow he always sneaks it in.” —Denise W., 38
MAKE HER LAUGH
“I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years, and I still get a good laugh from the videos he sends me of himself via Snapchat. And it’s not even like he’s trying to make me laugh. I just love him so much that I crack up out of adoration.” —Kelly W., 26
MAKE OUT WITH HER
“We have been married for 10 years and every night our bedtime ritual is to make out like we’re teenagers. We’ve done this on nights when we were incredibly tired and when we were mad at each other. It’s the best. It’s a good reminder of how amazing our relationship is.” —Wendy D., 36
LISTEN TO HER
“When something is bothering me, my boyfriend never fails to give me his full attention. He puts his cellphone down and actively listens to me speak. That shows me how much he cares about me.” —Jackie G., 31
GIVE HER PERSONAL SPACE
“My boyfriend and I just started living together after a year of dating. It’s hard to go from living alone to living with another person, especially since our new apartment is tiny. When I just need some space, I never have to ask for it. He always senses it and goes out for a walk. I know that living together will just keep getting easier.” —Connie S., 27
LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT DOWN
“My boyfriend lives with three guys and reminds them to keep the toilet seat down when I’m over. It makes me laugh because I never asked him to do that, but he just goes above and beyond to make me feel comfortable.” —Erin A., 25
CALL HER MOM
“My husband calls my mom every week. He has such a good relationship with her and always calls to check up because she’s older and lives alone. It reminds me how much of a caring person he is.” —Hilary W., 37

Wednesday, 6 December 2017

You Probably Trust Your Computer Way More Than You Trust Your Girlfriend

"We are more willing to spread out personal information across the web than we are to divulge facts to a person we are personally getting to know."

When you’re checking out on Amazon, you don’t hesitate to type all your personal information into the boxes that say, “name,” “address,” and “card number.” Why would you? Amazon is a trusted website, and you want that Game of Thrones box set, dammit. But what if the person asking you for this info was someone you're into? Turns out, you'd be way less comfortable sharing even your last name.A new survey has confirmed what we all know to be universally true: People are more willing to dish out personal details to a nameless, faceless computer than to a person they’re actually dating.The 2,000-person survey from Echoworx found that it takes the average American 20 seconds to figure out if an email in their inbox is safe, 28 seconds to see if an online form is safe to input their personal info, and 31 seconds to decide if a website is legit enough to make purchases from with their credit card. (Try these online shopping hacks to get you a better deal every time.)
The most common reasons for revealing personal info? Making online purchases, applying for a mortgage or insurance, or submitting job applications. (Follow these tips to land your dream job.)
But when it comes to potential partners, people need to go on an average of two and a half dates before they're comfortable enough to even disclose their full name. And it takes an average of four dates before they’re willing to reveal their home address, and six and a half dates before they want to approach things like salary. (However, one in three respondents said that they wouldn’t be comfortable talking to someone about the latter no matter how many dates they’d been on.)
“It’s interesting that we are more willing to spread out personal information across the web than we are to divulge facts to a person we are personally getting to know,” a spokesperson for Echoworx told the New York Post. “It’s not that it should be the opposite, but when it comes to things like your social security number and banking details being shared over online channels, it’s necessary to take care.”

Thursday, 30 November 2017

The 5 Best First Date Tips

One type of restaurant could increase your chances of seeing her again by 170 percent
If there’s a scientific formula for a successful first date, this is it: Researchers surveyed more than 2,000 people about what happened on their first dates—and whether those dates led to something more—for Match.com’s annual Singles in America report.

It turns out that certain locations, conversation topics, and even types of cuisine can significantly impact how well your date goes. Work one, two, or all five of these factors into your next first date.
FIND HER ON THE INTERNET
Couples who meet online are 78 percent more likely to make it to date two than people who come together through mutual friends, the study finds.
That’s because most people who use online dating tend to be serious about finding a partner, says Helen Fisher, Ph.D., chief scientific advisor for Match and author of Anatomy of Love. It takes effort to use most dating sites, so users are invested in making it pay off.
STICK TO DINNER
Taking her to a restaurant may seem unimaginative, but it doubles your odds of seeing her again compared to a more creative outing like a hike or a museum.
Dinner is ideal for a first date because it helps you get to know each other, says Fisher. You’re focused on the conversation, rather than an activity.
“By sitting opposite them, making eye contact, listening to their voice, seeing how they smile, seeing how they listen to you, you can really find out who the person is,” says Fisher.
BETTER YET, MAKE IT A SUSHI PLACE
People who go to sushi restaurants are 170 percent more likely to get second dates than people who have American cuisine, the study finds.
The researchers were stunned at how strong the connection was, so they did some digging for possible explanations in the food itself.
“Fatty fish like tuna and salmon contain omega-3s, which ups circulation and alertness,” Fisher says. “Seaweed has iodine, which can trigger testosterone and sex drive. And wasabi increases your heart rate and can make you flush.”
These physiological changes could make both of you feel more excited during the date.
Another possible reason: People tend to share sushi, rather than just eating off their own plates. That promotes bonding, she says.
TALK ABOUT TRUMP
You’d think that debating politics with someone you barely know would make for a disaster, but it actually boosts your chances for a second date by 91 percent.
It doesn’t even matter what your opinion is—as long as you have one and can express it respectfully, says Fisher.
Being able to discuss a contentious issue with a level head proves that you’re kind, tolerant, flexible, and empathetic—all qualities that are pure gold to a potential partner, she says. You can also try these Best Questions to Ask On a First Date.
DON’T LINGER TOO LONG
Your odds for a second date start to dwindle if the outing lasts for more than 2 hours and 15 minutes, according to the Match data. It could be that talking to anyone for that long gets tedious, says Fisher.
So part ways before she’s exhausted. Plan a date that includes dinner and one nightcap. But then politely ask her if you can call her a cab or walk her home.

Tuesday, 28 November 2017

'Should You Date Nate' Is a Prime Example of What Not to Do to Get Laid

Take it down a notch or ten, Nate

There's no sugar-coating it: Dating is tough. You can put yourself out there openly, honestly, and confidently in hopes of meeting your soulmate, but there's no guarantee that the universe will reciprocate your efforts. Still, there is a limit to just how direct you should be when you're first trying to meet that perfect partner, and our friend Nate here seems to have found that threshold.
Nate is an accomplished man, you see, but not a terribly nuanced one. Rather than, say, leaving some of himself to the imagination, Nate decided to create a personal website—the aptly-named shouldyoudatenate.com—to help him in his quest to find the love of his life. The website is a feature-length résumé on his professional accomplishments, personal goals, preferences in a partner, you name it. For examples, he's a libertarian and a hard-working entrepreneur; he loves meditating; he considers himself an outsider; and he's 6'4", as he so proudly boasts at the top of the page.
Most important, though, he's offering a free, three-day vacation to the interested woman who sends him a message and strikes his fancy. Ladies, if this manifesto didn't leave you completely weirded out by its conclusion, then you may simply win the prize by default. Needless to say, Nate's attempt at attracting "the One" comes off as, well, a little much. This is certainly one way to earn the attention of the opposite sex, but it doesn't strike us as the most effective method.
But, hey, as Nate himself says, "If you go through your whole life being comfortable, you're doing it wrong." Which is true enough, but we'll also point out that being uncomfortable doesn't necessarily mean you're doing it right.

Saturday, 18 November 2017

8 Women Reveal the Absolute Worst Ways Men Have Tried to Hit On Them

These are the deal-breakers you need to avoid
When you see someone new that you’re into, you have to approach them somehow. And, of course, it can be kind of nerve-wracking.
Most people aren’t receptive to pickup lines (unless, of course, they’re clearly a joke) and there’s no guarantee that what’s worked for you in the past will fly in the future. No one’s saying it’s easy, but sometimes a simple “hi” or “Can I buy you a drink?” can get you pretty far.
If you’re really interested in someone, it makes sense that you wouldn’t want to screw things up—and one Reddit user is helping you out with the question, “Women of Reddit, what was the worst thing a man has ever told you in an attempt to hit on/flirt with you?” The answers are amazing in the sense that they are jaw-dropping.
Sure, it's super unlikely you would ever say something this lame, but just in case, here are a few things you should definitely keep out of your pickup game.
DEAL BREAKER #1: BEING SUPER AGGRESSIVE
“Asked a bartender I work with that question a few years back. She had a kid and was single, and a guy asked her if he could ‘eat her out while rubbing Shea butter over her stretch marks.’ So probably that.” —elephant_on_parade
DEAL BREAKER #2: GIVING A BACKHANDED COMPLIMENT
“A guy told me he was done going out with attractive women and now just wanted to date someone nice instead. Thanks buddy.” —thegirlwholikescats
DEAL BREAKER #3: STRAIGHT-UP LYING
“I had a guy tell me he worked for the county CIA. Pretty sure that's not a thing.” —Ames0805
DEAL BREAKER #4: GETTING WAY AHEAD OF YOURSELF
"’I've never f—ed a redhead before.’ -guy who did not f—k me.” —CarWashRedhead
DEAL BREAKER #5: REFERENCING DATE RAPE
“I was at a bar with one of my friends and the guy sitting next to me taps me on the shoulder and says that the bartender accidentally gave him an extra drink and he wanted to know if I wanted it. I told him no thanks, I have a drink. He told me he didn't want to waste his money since he was charged for it so I told him to give it to one of his friends next to him. He then laughed and said ‘Why won't you take it? Its not like I'm gonna rape you or anything, I promise its not roofied.’ We left quickly.” —bottle_rockets
DEAL BREAKER #6: PHYSICALLY INCAPACITATING HER
“He stole the crutches I needed due to a dislocated kneecap and told me ‘well you can't run away from me now.’" —firestick_and_dick
DEAL BREAKER #7: FLAT-OUT INSULTING HER
"If it weren't for your belly you'd be smokin' hot!" —BeckyDaTechie
DEAL BREAKER #8: BEING A TOTAL CREEP
“Upon finding out that I can't drink because of a medical issue, a guy told me: ‘It must be hard for a guy to flirt with you considering he can't get you drunk and stupid.’ Thanks?” —SalemScout

Thursday, 16 November 2017

Are You Datable or Are You a Fling?

Our sex and relationships writer breaks it down
I’ve spent a lot of time trying to make relationships out of booty calls. Because all great relationships are built on a foundation of phenomenal sex and the occasional inside joke, right? (RIGHT?!) I mean, if you’re making me orgasm multiple times a week, why wouldn’t I want to keep you around long term and try to build a solid, lasting relationship with openness, honesty, and commitment. I can totally tell you’d be good at that while your head is between my legs...
Or so I though. Turns out, as I’m coming upon the crest of 30, just because he’s hot and his junk gets hard, doesn’t actually make him “boyfriend material.” Go figure. This may be the biggest lesson I’ve learned in my 20s. So what then does make a man a potential Mr. Right, versus a potential Mr. Right Now? And which of these two men do you want to be?
HOW TO KNOW IF YOU’RE DATEABLE
To find out, let’s go through the checklist. There are a few key items that women look for when going to enter into a serious relationship. Run down this list and see where you fall. (Note: Phenomenal sex IS a great indicator of a solid relationship, but these other things should probably be in place, too.)
DO YOU HAVE A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE?
Don’t freak out! I’m not talking about crushing it at the gym six days a week and subsisting solely on boiled chicken breast and protein shakes. Healthy lifestyle means, at the most basic level, do you get up and go to work every day without the lingering scent of booze? Do you pay your bills on time? Do you go to the doctor and at the bare minimum take the measures to ensure you won’t drop dead at 45? Basically, are you a functioning and contributing member of society? If so, congratulations. Consider your lifestyle healthy.
DOES YOUR DAY HAVE STRUCTURE?
A man who is dateable has some sort of routine to his day, even if that is as simple as he tries to make it to the gym at some point. Structure doesn’t have to mean boring and predictable. He doesn’t have to roll into work at 9:03 and roll out at 5:32 five days a week, nor does he have to have his usual table at Applebee’s. But a modicum of reliability says a lot to a woman who is looking to have a relationship. Can you keep appointments? Can you show up on time? Do you have things that are important to you throughout the day that keep you motivated and focused? Passion, interests, and looking at ways to further them says a lot about the dateability of a man.
DO YOU HAVE RELATIONSHIPS WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY?
Everyone has family baggage and drama. It’s what makes us interesting, and it’s what makes us human. Having issues with your family is entirely normal, and, in fact, expected. But on the whole do you have a relationship with your family? Do you speak to them and visit them somewhat regularly? Not everyone does have a great relationship with their family, for a variety of reasons, so that’s where friendships come into play. A man who is dateable has a strong circle of friends, or at least one or two on whom he can truly rely. Being a loner doesn’t disqualify you from the dateable pool, but it’s important to have at least one or two other people in your world who would care if you went missing for a couple of days.
ARE YOU COMPASSIONATE?
I wish this went without saying but someone who is dateable shows sympathy and empathy for others. The ability to put yourself in another’s shoes can go very, very far in a relationship, especially when the going gets rough (which, spoiler alert: it often does). Can you fight with your girlfriend in a healthy manner, meaning, after spewing your points and getting angry, can you go back and look at it from her perspective? Can you own where you went wrong, and can you apologize?
ARE YOU AWARE OF YOUR ISSUES?
No one (I repeat, no one) comes without issues. If you want a partner without issues, I strongly consider investing in an inflatable one. Whether we have phobia of commitment, jealousy problems, trust issues, etc. etc., no adult comes without an instruction manual. A man who is dateable, however, has a firm grasp on said manual and is ready to help with any troubleshooting or customer support. If you are a jealous guy, own it. If you have a fear of commitment, use your words and convey that to your prospective partner. It’s okay to be your flawed and wonderful self, but be aware of your drama so that you can explain to your partner how to decode you. Opening up about your issues and communicating them demonstrate that you have an enlightened sense of self and are interested in being close to another human being.
ARE YOU AMENABLE TO FIXING SAID ISSUES?
Some issues we can deal with, and others get in the way of lasting, healthy relationships. Kudos to you if you know what your issues are, but are you amenable to change and compromise? Your issues might not gel with her issues, and vice versa. But if you can strike a balance and find a way to make them jive together, you’ll be a lot happier in the long run.
ARE YOU WILLING TO ALLOW HER INTO YOUR LIFE?
At a certain age, we all have our lives the way we like them (for the most part). We have our routines, we have our comforts, and we have what we like. A man who is dateable, however, is flexible enough to adjust his precious routine to accommodate a new human within it, and is able to find a way to fit snugly into her life, as well.
HOW TO KNOW IF YOU’RE JUST A FLING?
Does your penis work? Do you not meet any other requirement on this list? Congratulations. You are just a fling.

Tuesday, 14 November 2017

9 Women Reveal the Worst Things Guys Have Done On First Dates

It’s safe to assume they didn’t get a second
There are plenty of ways to ace the first date: You feel the chemistry immediately. You both love the food at dinner. She compliments your jacket. You make her laugh. Better yet, she makes you laugh. You end the night with a kiss if you’re lucky—and a second date if you’re really lucky.
But one third of Americans don’t enjoy going on first dates, according a recent EliteSingles survey. Of the two thirds of people who do enjoy it, more than 80 percent don’t know what to talk about and about 1 in 5 feel super nervous beforehand. That’s because there are so many ways a first date can just go horribly, horribly wrong: You show up late. The conversation gets awkward. Your card gets declined. You go in for the kiss and she shakes your hand instead.
Or, you could suffer through one of the following scenarios.
WORST FIRST DATE IDEA #1: PLAY VIDEO GAMES
“He took me back to his apartment after dinner... to watch him play FIFA. He genuinely thought he was a godsend at FIFA. I texted my friend to have her call me with an ‘S.O.S. You have to come quick!’ scenario. I feel like this is a general consensus amongst most women: Your ‘talent’ at video games does not make us want to become intimate with you. It probably just reminds us of our brothers.” —Brielle, 22
WORST FIRST DATE IDEA #2: OUTWARDLY DISRESPECT WOMEN
“A Rihanna song comes on and my date said: ‘Getting beaten up by Chris Brown was the best thing to ever happen to her career.’ Mind you, I oversee a domestic violence shelter.” —Heather, 27
WORST FIRST DATE IDEA #3: PRESSURE HER TO DRINK
“I got coffee with a dude who kept insisting we go back to one of our houses and get me inebriated somehow. Not him, just me—either weed or alcohol, and he wasn’t even subtle about it. He kept asking every 10 minutes if I wanted to go back to my/his place and ‘try some vodka gummy bears or smoke a bowl,’ but he made it very clear that he didn’t plan on getting intoxicated.” —Jenna, 23
WORST FIRST DATE IDEA #4: INVITE YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND
“First off, he didn’t tell me it was a date. I legitimately thought we were just hanging out and playing Scrabble because he asked me to via Twitter. Then he invited his ex-girlfriend to hang out with us, which I later found out was his way of showing her he had moved on. I felt used.” —Dylan, 23
WORST FIRST DATE IDEA #5: INVITE YOUR FRIENDS
“We were supposed to go to a movie on a Friday night. He said his friends kind of wanted to go and asked if any of mine would want to join. It was already Friday night so my friends had plans. He asked if I still wanted to go, so I said sure. I figured he meant just the two of us and he would leave his two other guy friends at home. I figured wrong, and me and him sat in between the two of them for the duration of the movie. It was the worst. Never went out again.” —Maddie, 23
WORST FIRST DATE IDEA #6: LEAD WITH A SUPERFICIAL QUESTION
“One time I went on a blind date and the first thing the guy said to me was ‘Is that your real hair color?’ I had been dyeing my hair a dark red for a few months and he actually mentioned something about it… like how do you respond to that?” —Alexis, 22
Try asking her these questions instead.
WORST FIRST DATE IDEA #7: FORGET YOUR MANNERS
“The worst thing a guy has done on a first date is blow his nose at the dinner table. 1) How rude! 2) Now my burrito is ruined because of your snot.” —Lauren, 23
WORST FIRST DATE IDEA #8: PICK THE MOVIE WITHOUT ASKING HER
“After dinner, he took me back to his apartment and queued up ‘Machine Gun Preacher’ on Netflix—kind of a jarring movie for a first date.” —Jessica, 24
WORST FIRST DATE IDEA #9: KILL THE CONVERSATION
“I once met up with a guy from OkCupid for coffee, and rather than engage in the usual getting-to-know-you chit-chat, he avoided eye contact and kept commenting on people at other tables with snarky remarks about their appearance or topics of conversation. Hearing how judgmental he was within 10 minutes of meeting him was a major turn-off, and I was happy to get out of there when my mug was empty. I’ve been on lots of Internet dates and usually enjoy the conversation, even if I’m not attracted to the guy, but this was the first time I counted down the minutes until it was over.” —Leah, 27